So, now that I’m 30 (and had a few days to adjust to being 30), I figured it was time for one of those thoughtful, retrospective, personal blog posts. After all, 30 is such a BIG, ROUND number with a 0 at the end of it (like 50, or 100, or 2000, only not as ancient *grin*).

I enjoy getting older. No, really, I do. Some people might have worn their youth well, but I was not one of them. I was painfully shy and overly cautious as a teenager and a young woman. It was hard for me to to open up, reach out. In my 20s, I began to be more comfortable in my own skin and found firmer footing. They were a decade of great changes. I graduated from college, got married, had three kids. I wrote three (and a quarter) novels, a whole slew of stories, and many many false starts. I tried new things–baking bread, making jam, playing piano–little enough things, but every new thing I dared to fail at eroded the walls of the “But I can’t do this” prison I had built around myself. That’s perfectionism for you. I loosened up and had fun. I put myself out there a little—in submitting stories (and garnering stacks of virtual kindly-worded rejections), in blog posts, pictures.

I taught my oldest kid to read. Somehow, that’s the most mind-blowing thing of all.

And now I’m 30, and looking forward to the next season of life. My youngest will be 2 this summer (no longer a baby, *sigh*) and the time for diapers and naps is slowly giving way to schoolbooks, messy art, summer camps and science experiments. My interests have broadened in so many ways and I am freer to explore them , either independently or alongside my family.

I love to make plans, but I have also learned what happens to the best-laid plans (and be okay with that—generally), so, no, I don’t have a Things To Accomplish Before 40 Plan.  I want to keep writing, keep learning, keep growing. I want to model exercising my mind, enthusiasm for trying new things, perseverance, and courage to my little ones. I want to stop living for the opinions of people I hardly know (or who matter little to me). It’s a road I’m traveling, and the destination is a long way away, but, in the meantime, it’s good to take off my shoes and enjoy the flowers!

Handmade Homeschool on loving the mother you are. We moms labor under a fair amount of guilt for not being the Superwomen we think our children need. We try to be it all and do it all and when we fail–as we inevitably do–we feel bad about ourselves. For this day, this week, for as long as we can hold onto this, let’s enjoy being the mothers we are instead of trying to love up to a fantasy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the rest of you in the trenches.